You Have Not Because You Ask Not

...the tale of the prodigal son's brother


How are you doing? Little Miss Blogger is doing great (in case that is of at least 2 percent concern to you haha) One thing though, I am over the winter season already, it’s been winter since May where I am. I have had enough of it!

Anyway, let’s get straight into it…

Today, I want to talk about something I have no idea how it came to be. What I know though is that it was a lie and the only source of lies I know is the devil aka ‘the father of lies’ so he will have to take this one for his team.

Before that though let me just say my life in the village was wholesome, well kinda. I had an averagely normal childhood under the circumstances. I wasn’t miserable per se. I was happy, just as happy as any other village child you could come across there. I played when it was time to play, I did village work when it was time to do village work, and I went to school when it was time to go to school. I had dreams, aspirations, friends, and all that jazz. I am clarifying this because I tend to pick out the outstanding moments in my life there, and it might appear as if I had a horrible childhood. I don’t believe that to be the case at all. My childhood was great, maybe great is a bit of an exaggeration but by village standards, it was.

Now that we have cleared that, let’s get into it again. When I was staying with my granny, she was practically my parent which essentially meant everything she had was in essence mine, or perhaps, I was eligible to access it. In any case, the three of us, me, her, and my nephew worked as a team in what we did. When we were in the fields, we all worked in the maize field, cotton field, groundnuts field, sweet potatoes/sweet reeds side of the farm, beans field, and whatever else there was to farm.

For obvious reasons, not all of us contributed the same effort towards this because of our size and age but everyone contributed to the best of their abilities, including me. My granny was such a hard worker! She could work in those fields from dawn till dusk, much to my displeasure because whoa! you just could not be lazy around her. This diligence was consistent whether or not we were going to the field. There was a season after harvesting all produce that there was rest in the land and during that season, we did not need to go to the fields for a while, but, alas! Opposite our home was a borehole and a garden and we would get water from that borehole to water that garden. My grandma had a wall clock, one of those that made sounds to alert you when it is a particular hour, as in, ring once when it is 1 pm/1 am, twice when it is 2 am/2 pm. I am convinced that the clock was inaccurate all the time, but my grandmother trusted it regardless. Whenever it would strike 3/4 times signifying 3 am or 4 am, it was time to wake up and go to the garden. I absolutely hated this clock, especially because once you woke up, you would then stay there until you decided to run away after the sun had risen to go prepare for school.

If I did not run away or insist on leaving her in the garden, she wouldn’t necessarily bring up going to school herself, let alone insist on it! My granny did not concern herself with ‘civilian business’. Hence, I was solely responsible for figuring out if I was on time at school, if my uniform was in order, what I would eat in the morning or carry to school, whether or not I had done my homework, and whether or not I had the things needed at school. All of it!

As of school, if I was late, the headmaster would be standing by the gate waiting to beat (as in really beat) me up with his beating rod. (Terrifying) He especially loved making one lie on their tummy in that village dust and wholeheartedly beat whoever was late. The worst-case scenario was if you had any sibling or relative younger than you show up at that time. Your hiding would worsen as you would also be given their share because according to his logic;

‘you are the older one, you made the younger ones late, I am beating you in their stead’

Whaaaaaattttt, I mean c’mon!

Needless to say, I had plenty of little ones who would usually pop up at such critical moments. Imagine receiving 7 of your own beating shares and three little beings pop up and he adds 7×3 for them on top of yours! Argh! To top it off, when you would get to class late, the class teacher too would add on his/her own punishment for your lateness! Again, argh! Being late was a nightmare. I had to be early at all costs but obviously failed sometimes because the garden had to be watered and I tend to do things relatively slower than the average being so preparing to go to school would also take me slightly longer.

With all the effort that I put into everything we did, be it farming or gardening, or anything else, you would be surprised to hear me say that I believed that I did not deserve to reap the benefits of any of it. I believed that if my pen’s ink finished, asking for another one was being a burden. I believed that if I asked for groundnuts or maize to prepare my lunch or eat in the morning, I was being a burden. I would not ask for anything from my grandma unless it was 7890% do-or-die needed. Still, I found asking for it gruesome. I worked just as hard for some of these things. I was there in the field, in the garden, and gave it my all, yet when it came to eating the benefits, I found myself unworthy. I would sometimes go without a pen, go without food, and probably not eat in the morning because ‘if I ask, I will be asking for too much, I don’t want to burden her’. I had this fake sense of responsibility and maturity that I had no business carrying around at my age. As such, I missed out on things that were mine to have.

I don’t know when and how the devil convinced me on this one but it was the saddest reality that I could have put myself through. Sad, because I could see people who hardly worked in the field as much as I did freely ask for the very things, the very basics I wished to have and received so bountifully from my granny, whilst I wished she could somehow miraculously guess that I wanted it and, in turn, offer it to me.

Does this not sound like most of us when it comes to our relationship with God?

Is this not how we relate with God?

Isn’t our logic;

 ‘Oh, I can’t ask God for a husband, I am sure if he wanted to give me one he would’

‘Oh, I can’t pray for God to change my situation, he probably already knows that it is that way’

‘Oh, if God wanted me to have it, he would give it to me, what is meant to be will be’

‘Oh, if God loves me, he is going to do for me what I desire from him without me asking from him, he can see my situation and how bad it is, and He can tell I need help. If he doesn’t help, it means it doesn’t care.’

Let me tell you something…if this is your line of thought, you are wrong. Very wrong. You couldn’t be any more ‘wronger’. PS: I am not saying this to condemn you at all, I am not one to talk haha. I can assure you of one thing; my grandmother never guessed that I did not have a pen or that I desired ground nuts and she hardly ever offered it to me without me asking her to. She was not heartless or wicked either. Neither was she stingy. Trust me I saw her give away the very things I desired freely to those who asked. She did not love me less or care about me less than the people who asked. I JUST DID NOT ASK. Just that. Pretty much like the prodigal son’s brother. He was loyal to his father as his brother squandered his share of his inheritance and he never got to enjoy being the loyal son because he never voiced his desires, he assumed his dad would love him enough to offer him what he secretly desired…and he didn’t.

Luke 15:28-30 (You can read it from verses 11-32) (AMPC)

28 But [the elder brother] was angry [with deep-seated wrath] and resolved not to go in. Then his father came out and began to plead with him,29 But he answered his father, Look! These many years I have served you, and I have never disobeyed your command. Yet you never gave me [so much as] a [little] kid, that I might [o]revel and feast and be happy and make merry with my friends;30 But when this son of yours arrived, who has devoured your estate with immoral women, you have killed for him [p]that [wheat-] fattened calf!

You see…God desires that you ask Him for what you need from Him, not because like my granny he can’t guess what you want. A BIG NO. He knows more than you do what you need and what you will ever need. Even you do not even know that you need what you need sometimes. However, you still need to ask Him for what you need. This is the demonstration of your faith in Him, which He says pleases Him. To God, you can never be a burden or ask ‘too much’. In fact, He enjoys it when you do that. He looks forward to hearing from you and to being there for you. So stop living your life below God’s best for you because of the self-limiting or (God forbid) God-limiting beliefs that you might have. The saddest truth I have heard from anointed men of God is that God is not moved by the extent of your dire situation, He is rather moved by your faith in Him that He can solve the issue for you. Ouch…


God is sovereign, yes and indeed sometimes He can intervene in your situation without you asking Him to. This is, however, the exception and not the norm, you cannot make it your primary means of receiving from God. I am sure there are days my grandma offered me the things I had been meaning to ask from her, but very rare it was. I robbed myself of consistently receiving from her because I left it to chance that she would give me and did not just take the initiative to ask.

Here is what God says;

Matthew 7:7-8 (AMPC)

7 [a]Keep on asking and it will be given you; [b] keep on seeking and you will find; [c]keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.

Whether or not you receive from God as much as you should is solely dependent on this one aspect; asking, consistently, in faith from God and receiving from Him OR NOT DOING SO AND NOT RECEIVING FROM HIM.

I hope you learn to view God as loving and caring and willing because He is. This is not based on circumstance or feeling or thought. This is permanent. God loves you everlastingly and desires to give you all things.

Romans 8:32

32 He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?

Jeremiah 31:3

The Lord appeared from of old to me [Israel] /(Delsha or insert your name), saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.

Matthew 7:9-11

Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?11 If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and [h]advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and [i]advantageous things to those who [j]keep on asking Him!

Until the next time we have our ‘chat’ and eternally beyond, rest on the truth that God loves you. He desires to fulfill your desires (the ones that are in alignment with His word of course). Just go ahead and ask! Listen to NIKE…JUST DO IT!!!!1

Delsha Rufaro Lydia
Delsha Rufaro Lydia
5 2 votes
Article Rating
Notify of

Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Nikki Vengai

Amen and amen. Loved reading this!


A closed mount is a closed destiny. An unasked question is an unanswered prayer.

Thank you for the wisdom nuggets

Marian Njera

I can very much relate to every word on this blog. What a beautiful way of keeping me eager to read what is on the next line.

You are the best story teller and an amazing writer ❤️

MakanakaMwari Mangava

So powerful! Thank you so much

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x